We were at the park the other day and came across a pair of underpants on the ground by the men’s room. So I wrote a haiku.
Lonely underpants
Abandoned by the men’s room
What is your story?
****************
And then I was strangely inspired, and wrote some more.
Boy shorts at the store
Wish you were comfortable
Lost in saddlebags
******************
Beige full-coverage
In a Vic’s Secret package
Makes a sad husband
*******************
Stay-at-home mother
Good-bye to thong underwear
Undies expected
*******************
Husband, let them go
Your boxers, they beg for death
And scream in my dreams
********************
Hey I just met you
And this is crazy but I’m
Commando in cords
********************
My least favorite word
In the whole world is “panties”
Fave: “beaver cozy”
Pile of Babies 
I love EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS POST. But most especially I love “beaver cozy”. Magnifique.
Thank you. I’m glad someone appreciates my art.
You have elevated an ancient art form, which has been begging for something good to happen to it for YEARS. Years. Eons. Way to go. Too funny.
I will send you a signed copy of my book of underwear-related poetry. It’s called, “Under….Where?”
LOL!!!!! Loving the haiku!!!!
Short. Doesn’t have to rhyme. PERFECT.
Hey I just met you
And this is crazy but I’m
Commando in cords
(sooooo funny).
I too, HATE the word ‘panties’ and I also hate the word ‘Ladies’ I hate it more when female counterparts use that word to address one another. “Well, Hello Ladies” I am not sure why — but i want to turn and run.
Uh-oh. I say “lady” all the time. Does that count?
I say ladies and panties and if you run, I would catch you (I’m fast). Just gonna have to deal.
Shit. I’m gonna go do some sprints. Apparently I have some training to do.
Hahaha, I had haiku on the brain too, but mine was no where as fun.
Sectional, I drool
Gray, tufted with chaise; alas
It will have to wait.
Lame I know. Should have been:
Tufted with a chaise
Fortynine less shades of grey*
How I long for you
*Have not read the book as Twilight was more than craptacular enough for me.
Ha! Hey there fellow Haiku-er!
I didn’t do Twilight. You are very, very brave. 😉
I don’t know how I missed this post earlier in the week but it is so funny I’m in love. Was just saying the other day how it’s an unspoken rule that thongs go out with the kids. Or at best they are reserved for special occasions, whereas I used to wear them every day. I shudder at the thought…
I know! I have a whole thong section in my underwear drawer that just sits there now. Because — you know — why would you even bother? Don’t want anyone to see the pantyline in my sweatpants!